Responsibility Sucks.

I'm semi-depressed at the moment. And it is for a somewhat stupid reason, but just because I have to be responsible doesn't mean that I have to like it or be very mature about it.

Back up to November 2007. Wait, back up a little further, first. I have 2 children, 2 beautiful wonderful children that I lovingly carried for 9+ months in my womb, letting them feed off of my body. Kinda like leeches, if I really stop to think about it. In order to show me their gratitude and remind me forever that I had, in fact, carried them, they tore my body up. Apparently, if you gain somewhere around 60 pounds (each time, I might add) and have the same genes as my grandmother, well, kiss your cute little 18 year old body good-bye. Stretch marks, extra skin, yucky boobies, all of that, you will be blessed with. Did I know this? No, because my mother is a mutant, and came through all 3 of her pregnancies with 2, yes 2, itsy bitsy teeny weeny microscopic stretch marks. No extra skin, no boobies down to her belly button, nothing. So I thought, somewhat mistakenly, that my genes would be slightly more similar to hers.

Fast forward to November 2007. After several years of moping about, bitching about what our leeches children had done to my body, husband decided that I had definitely earned some much needed repair. Off to the plastic surgeons office we went. He poked, prodded, lifted, measured and molded until I thought my husband might explode. After all, husband was sitting right there the whole time Mr. Doctor was lifting and all. But he maintained his composure, and even laughed at me standing there in my paper gown and socks, freezing my ass off. Once fully redressed we headed into his office. While waiting for him, we played with the implants that were lying on the table just asking to be squeezed. Just before I could attempt to throw them at husband like a water balloon, Mr. Doctor walked in. We went through before and after photos of other women who had had the same procedures I was interested in and asked and answered questions. No, they won't pop if you throw them like a water balloon, by the way. Full of information and on cloud nine after seeing photographic evidence that we could repair the damage wrought by grandmas genes, we headed into his office managers office, supposedly to go over financing options and what not. That is where they dropped the quote on us. $17,000.00.

$17,000.00! $17,000.00? $17,000.00. Doesn't matter what way you say it, that is beyond an ass load of money. I'm sitting there telling the office manager that it will be awhile before we can come up with that kind of money, even with financing, and husband butts in with, no really, I think that it will happen sooner rather than later. He must still be in awe over the pretty boobies we saw, cause usually he is the frugal one. We get the financing info, the office managers card and tell her we will call once we can come to terms with either the price, or husband forgets just how pretty the boobies were.

For the next week we talk about the cost, both financially and recovery wise, because the work on my tummy would practically incapacitate me for 2 weeks, and leave me very, very whiny for another week or two. Again, husband is adamant that I get this done in the very near future. I decide, well, lets see if getting the financing is even an option. I apply, and lo and behold, they approved us for the full $17,000. WTF? OK, now I'm getting excited. Sure, it means that we'll be a little tighter money wise, but both kids are in school next year, I'll be able to go back to work, which would fix that. So, we decide that spring break 2008 is the perfect time. Kids are out of school, so I don't have to get up to take Ian to school, and Ian would be around to help me with his sister, the dogs, my sweetly worded requests. Plus, that is after tax time. Because we only have one income, plus we have a rental property that is a loss year after year, we always seem to get a tax return. I know that this is an interest free loan to the government, but it also means that we get a surprise at the beginning of each new year. So, we can use some of that to put down on the surgery, to lower the amount financed.

Well, I filed our taxes on Monday. And, the amount we are getting back is ridiculously high. High enough to pay off all but one of our nine credit cards, pay the registration on both vehicles, put back a decent chunk for emergencies and still have a couple hundred to take care of Ian's birthday in February and maybe even have dinner out.

Hmmmm......... Be responsible and debt free, or be selfish with a great rack and flat tummy.

Like I said, responsibility sucks. Once summer hits, I'll be the one by the pool. You'll know it's me by the floppy tummy and saggy boobies.

Shhh, don't tell anyone, but....

...I'll share one of my resolutions with you guys. I haven't even told my husband this one. Don't you feel special?

I want to run in the PF Changs Rock 'N Roll marathon next January.

Ok, maybe not the full marathon. 26.2 miles, not very likely, at least with the shape I'm in right now. Or the shape I'm out of right now. But 13.1 miles in 4 hours? Maybe. Could be very possible, after all, I have a full year to prepare for it.

Now, as to why I haven't told anyone I don't actually know? I'm not positive I can do this, and I don't want to be laughed at, or pushed towards it. I want it to be me, my decision, and that is easier for now as I train with no pressure. The closer I get to the marathon, the more I will know if it is something that I feel I can accomplish (or not). If I feel I can, then I will tell family and friends. Plus, I know that my blog is not a widely read one, it's more for me than anything else. Makes me feel better, anyways.

Is cliche the right word?

And, how do you make the little mark over the 'e'? Sometimes I am so computer illiterate, it's embarrassing. But, to my original point, corny, cliche, whatever you want to call it, our family sat down together last night and went over our goals for 2008.

*as an aside, when I say our family, I mean myself, my husband, our kids, my parents, my step dads ex-wife, 1 of my 2 sisters and 2 of my 3 brothers. Cozy, huh?

It was interesting, to say the least. I also think that it was productive. We were able to discuss with other people we trust just what our goals were, and how we thought we would be able to accomplish them, and ask for help with some. For instance, I want to improve my posture. Both my mother and my step dads ex-wife have offered to point out to me when I am slouching, which will help immensely, since slouching is an ingrained habit at this point that I don't recognize unless I am focusing directly on it. Both my husband and I have typed out our goals and framed them to sit on our desk. This way, I think that I won't be able to sit back in December and wonder just what I have accomplished that I had actually intended to accomplish. I'll even share them here, on my blog, although not all of them, some are very personal and I didn't even share them last night.

2008 1 Year Goals

· Family vacation – California or similar
· Be more patient with the kids
· Take more pictures of my family
· Try new recipes, one per week
· Healthy meals 5x per week
· Pay off Ultimate bill – TV
· Don’t touch the ‘keep the change’ account
· Open a Roth IRA
· Take at least 2 college courses
· Renew real estate license – 24 hours by July 31st
· Undergo surgery
· Work on better posture
· Walk every day, at least 15 minutes, more like 45
· Purge the paperwork build-up
· Check and open mail daily – throw away the junk immediately
· Become more organized, less scatterbrained


2008 5 year goals

· Truck paid off
· Surgery paid for
· Revolving debt paid for and unused
· Associates degree finished
· Have a career in mind – more solid
· Honey moon - cruise or Hawaii (both)
· Rental house sold – November 2009

By the way, I won't call them resolutions. These are goals, things for me to work towards, but in no means am I a failure or have I failed if they aren't accomplished in 12 months. Or so I let myself think!

Something happy, for a change.

**As a side note, December has yet to redeem itself. After flying back from the double funeral in Iowa, which took place a day after a major ice storm that caused the airport to shut down, us to have to drive up from Omaha, and the airline to lose our luggage and then return it to us soaking wet, we received even more bad news. An uncle of mine, only 47, had a heart attack last week Monday. My other grandfather was at the hospital visiting him and collapsed, and later started bleeding from the ears. We're waiting to hear about the CT results. Plus, my dads cat died. December still sucks. But here's something happy and creative from my 7 year old that might make you smile**

Ian, who is almost 8, came home from school the other day, excited as can be (and if you know a 7 year old, that can be REALLY excited) about a class assignment. They had to make up a new Christmas tradition. He then proceeded to tell me about the 'Pickle Present'. Get your mind out of the gutter, please!

You have an ornament shaped like a pickle, and on Christmas day mom or dad have to hide the ornament somewhere in the tree, and the first kid to find the ornament gets the 'pickle present', and extra gift, apparently for having the sharpest eyes, or being able to crush your little sister before she can get the ornament. (a scenario I see as exceedingly likely, given Lexi's size)

He asked if we could make that a tradition, and I replied with, 'only if I am able to find an ornament shaped like a pickle.' Yep, I found a pickle ornament, first time I looked. $3 at Target. People use pickles on a Christmas tree?! Or, is a 'pickle present' really a tradition and I've just been missing out? Either way, Tuesday morning my kids will be hunting for a pickle in a Christmas tree.

I Quit.

December sucks. I quit. And it doesn't suck for the usual reasons, trying to buy Christmas presents with little cash. No. This December flat out sucks eggs. Last Sunday, December 2, my grandfather flew down to Arizona to spend Christmas with us. He is probably my most favoritest person in the world, I grew up with him, we, along with my grandmother, traveled all over the country during the summers, stuff like that.

He didn't wake up on Tuesday. This Thursday, we will be back in Iowa for his funeral.

Not only that, but last night my great aunt died as well. His sister in law. She is to be buried on one side of my grandma, and he is to be buried on the other.

We are now attending a double funeral.

December sucks.

Did I lie?

Hmmm..... Think that I had posted something about keeping up with my posting, and not ignoring my blog for weeks on end. Here we are, just over a month since my last post. Oops. I just never seem to find the time, not anymore. There have even been periods of time where the computer has been entirely off, for several days at a time! That's usually unheard of! But I am trying to keep on top of the house, and holidays, and spend time with the kids, yadda yadda yadda. Still, I suppose I could post once in awhile, maybe, possibly.

I just feel so overwhelmed. Maybe it's the season, and I should just get over it.

Oh, man, if only I weren't a stay at home mom!

I wish I could use these out of office messages. It would make me happy:

1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.

2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

3. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from holiday on 4 April. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

4. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

5. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over).

6. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

7. I've run away to join a different circus.

8. I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Margaret' instead of 'Steve'.

Quote Me

I read this from an anonymous confessor on TrueMomConfessions.com. She found it somewhere, and posted it for all us spouses to read. I like it.



'True love does not come by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly' - Jason Jordan

2 Month Hiatus

Wow, what a relief. I am still alive.

Computer time is at an all time low, with school having started again for Ian. I volunteer in his class at least 3 times a week, and bring Lex along for the ride. She loves it, but I'm exhausted! Plus, soccer has now started, and I can say, for the first time ever, I am officially a soccer mom! The team mom, to be exact. Much more running around than I had previously thought.

I'm also on my second spring cleaning kick of the year. I know that in most of the country, it is fall, but here in Arizona, we have Spring 1 and 2, and a six month summer. My biological clock has been tricked by these mild(er) temperatures, and has convinced my brain that soon there will be new little birdies and bunnies, and April showers, so my house MUST be cleaned post haste! Stupid biological clock.

Of course, when I did spring cleaning number one, earlier this year, I didn't exactly get everything done before temperatures reached approximately the same as in Hell, so it is somewhat required. You'd think, then, that I would start by cleaning everything I didn't get to earlier this year. Hahahahaha, yeah right! That stuff is waaayyy too dirty at this point, so I'm sticking to stuff that only has 6 months worth of crapola. Those window screens are never gonna get clean. (Although, I did clean the actual windows today. Well, the front three, anyway)

I am going to attempt to blog slightly more that I have over the past 60-odd days, not like that will be too difficult. I'll also have to catch up on my blog reading, since I haven't read any of my favorite blogs for nearly as long as I haven't written. Yeah, I'm really on top of stuff, ain't I?

**Sidenote** Why you have to love kids. While cleaning said front windows, I decided to get out the ladder and wash the window above our front door. The bottom of this window is about 9 feet above the ground, so I have to get out the ladder to do this. I get said ladder out, set it up directly in front of the door, so that I don't have to lean very far. Before going out front (through the garage, I tell both kids, "Hey, don't go out the front door, I'll be up on the ladder." I climb up on the ladder and start washing all the grime off only to have my son open the door and ask, "Hey, mom, what did you say about the front door?" I'll have my response for him after the body cast comes off.

Definitions NOT in the dictionary

ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growinginthe middle.

BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women curl up and dye.

CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people.

CHICKENS: The only animals you eat before they are born and after theyaredead.

COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

HANDKERCHIEF: Cold Storage.

INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better.

RAISIN: Grape with a sunburn.

SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time.

SKELETON: A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

TOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed. and MY Personal Favorite!!

WRINKLES: Something other people have. I have character lines