Mad

Mad. Angry. Pissed off. Insulted. Unimportant. Invisible. Worthless. Idiotic. Unfair. Stupid. Liar.

I'm sure that there are other words that I have left out. All these, just add "My foster child makes me feel (like a)..." We have about 3 weeks to go before he moves back in with his mother, and man, the time during the previous 2-3 weeks has dragged. His behavior is at the point where his therapist said to me, "You are a better person than me for putting up with this .I would have put it into CPS' hands long ago." He has decided (and told me) that since he is going back with his mother, nothing that I say really matters. He thinks that I'm an idiot and he hates my kids, so why should he listen. Oh, and of course, it's all my fault, because I lied to the therapist about how his treatment towards me and my kids really is.

WHAT????? All this from an 11 year old child, a child that I have been practically killing my self over, trying to get him to start on the right path, the one that will make it possible for him and his mom to live together again. I have beat myself up over all this, over my feelings towards this child. I shouldn't dislike a kid, especially one from the situation he had been in, but man, hard not to do when he acknowledges what he should do, and then says "but I don't want to." We are now at the point that he is moving back with her whether his behavior/attitude is appropriate or not, and if it does not work, then he will have to go into foster care, or to California to live with other family. I will not open my house up again to the treatment I have received since March 3rd.

I feel like growling.