Makes me feel smart!

1. AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked
intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package.
Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.

2. Police in Oakland, CA spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who
had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas
canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in
the police line, shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up."

3. An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and
forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein
the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

4. A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for all the money
in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the
store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police
showed up and grabbed him.

5. Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just
couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man
in the lineup to repeat the words: "Give me all your money or I'll shoot",
the man shouted, "that's not what I said!".

6. A man spoke frantically into the phone: "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart". "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!"

7. In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a
Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to
simulate a gun... Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket.


8. Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour
east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating, were having a
problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new
22 foot boat, going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no
matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of trying to make
it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may be
able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed
everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the
out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and
pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath.
He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.

Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer!